where others come for vacation ...
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It's now two weeks since you vanished without a trace,
my wet palms glide on your empty basket with grace,
a bit of your fur sticking to my hand,
is your only souvenir in this house
a tibetan Tatanka i fill with your fur left behind,
along with your favorite toy mouse...
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Elephant, Camel or perhaps an Octopus...
What has Nature created in its underground canvas?
As i don on my imaginative Hat,
it's almost sad to take it to the chopping Mat...
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The fiery foursome from Beckenried ask me if i'd like to join them to catch some Sun.
Sun and views are always a delight, soon i find myself picking up the ladies in Beckenried as we drive to Stans.
From the historic funicular wooden cable car to the ultra modern - Topless Cabrio, feeling the Sun and the Wind in our faces, within some twenty odd minutes we're transported atop Mt. Stanserhorn (1898 m.a.s.l)
It's my first outing since Nellie has moved on, and initially i see her everywhere i look...
Slowly the fog clears and we're blessed with views of Snow capped alpine peaks to Lakes to Meadows, stretching out to infinity in every direction.
Little by little, the Sunshine brings me back to the here and now.. to these kind ladies who asked me out, to the trail ahead of us, to the distant cow-bells, to the sighting of the Kite, the marmots, wild goats et al..
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My dear Nellie,
It's already 10 days since you've been gone, and Life seems to have lost all its meaning.
Almost unbelievable that a teeny-tiny being like you, can leave behind such a deep void.
You aroused a motherly instinct in me and together we shared so many beautiful-loving experiences,
in just a span of four years you gave me a lifetime worth of memories
and with it, the sadness that i didn't get a chance to say Goodbye
Never will we know, what happened on the night that you disappeared without a trace.
The pain is still so intense, that it feels like my Heart will just burst open,
instead as tears - silent streams or loud gushes - the pain pours out from my eyes...
Sometimes i wonder, the time we shared together - was a beautiful Gift - something to be celebrated,
But why, oh why, does it then hurt so bad?
Because the Greedy mind wanting more of these loving experiences, is not yet ready to let go.
Over the last 10 days, we've independently felt your presence/essence in many a ways..
A breeze that suddenly engulfs us; Rays of Sunlight suddenly appearing from behind a Cloud;
Your tiny self in that vision of yours on the Cellar door, supervising us on our renovation-progress (as you always did);
A giant version of you curled up, hoovering over - covering the entire House, the surroundings, consoling us;
Seeing you as that Tibetan Monk walking away into the unknown from your special forest;
The vision of You, a young tibetan Monk and Ramana Maharshi in a Row...
As if to say,
you're there - around us - in us - have always been and will always be -
We just have to go within our Hearts...
AUM TAT SAT