where others come for vacation ...
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My dear Nellie,
It's already 10 days since you've been gone, and Life seems to have lost all its meaning.
Almost unbelievable that a teeny-tiny being like you, can leave behind such a deep void..
You aroused a motherly instinct in me and together we shared so many beautiful-loving experiences,
in just a span of four years you gave me a lifetime worth of memories
and with it, the sadness that i didn't get a chance to say Goodbye
Never will we know, what happened on the night that you disappeared without a trace.
The pain is still so intense, that it feels like my Heart will just burst open,
instead as tears - silent streams or loud gushes - the pain pours out from my eyes...
Sometimes i wonder, the time we shared together - was a beautiful Gift - something to be celebrated,
But why, oh why, does it then hurt so bad?
Because the Greedy mind wanting more of these loving experiences, is not yet ready to let go.
Over the last 10 days, we've independently felt your presence/essence in many a ways..
A breeze that suddenly engulfs us; Rays of Sunlight suddenly appearing from behind a Cloud;
Your tiny self in that vision of yours on the Cellar door, supervising us on our renovation-progress (as you always did);
A giant version of you curled up, hoovering over - covering the entire House, the surroundings, consoling us;
Seeing you as that Tibetan Monk walking away into the unknown from your special forest;
The vision of You, a young tibetan Monk and Ramana Maharshi in a Row...
As if to say,
you're there - around us - in us - have always been and will always be -
We just have to go within our Hearts...
AUM TAT SAT
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Nature's Plan totally unexplained...
A Journey together suddenly separated...
Our sincere bow to YOU, our dear departed...
And best of wishes for your new Path Ahead...
In your special forest, we feel your essence
colourful mushrooms line the path you showed us not too long ago
slowly trying to come to peace with your physical absence
So hard to say goodbye, yet we have to let you go...
You were a truly Amazing Being
A fluffy bundle to cuddle with, full of compassion and love
Your purring would easily put a motor to shame
Holding you in the arms was like holding a cloud
An avid outdoors lover - always on the go, snow, rain or hail
An excellent hunter - thank you for the mouse-gift on my Birthday
Being greeted by you in the parking lot when we drove back home
Feeling your head touching mine while i did Yoga - especially in the cat pose
Being blessed by your tail as it touched us while you walked by...
So many memories for us to cherish...
We're thankful for your time with us!
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Waiting patiently, for your return...
Anxious yet hopeful, eyes search everywhere...
Not just ours, but Skylar's too...
She climbs on every tree and stump,
perhaps from somewhere a sign of her Sister who's amiss...
Her sadness hurts more than our own pain...
Nellie - You leave behind a void, as big as an Abyss...
Without You, Life shall never be the same again...
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It's already Forenoon and Nellie has not yet returned from her nightly hunt...
Lukas has been awake from 1AM, feeling that our Nellie baby has already moved on .. to the other side
I'm still hopeful.. perhaps she's busy waiting for a mouse somewhere and has lost track of time...
As the hours pass by with no sign of her still, we're getting really worried...
In the afternoon, i go out on a walk, calling out to her everywhere, perhaps she climbed atop a tree after being chased by a fox or a dog, i look for her under every bush, every tree, but to no avail...
Oh Nellie Baby, where are you? We miss you soooo bad, Come back home sweetie-pie...
In the evening, after we do the constellation, it confirms clearly what Lukas sensed all day long that she's moved on...
Heartbroken, we walk to the Picnic place and we feel her full presence, a breeze engulfs us and moves on..
like she's hugging us one last time and bidding Adieu..
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